Patterns in the family quilt

I spent this weekend at my sister's house in NJ. It was my nephew's 10th birthday. Family can be so difficult, right? Family members know how to push my buttons, to catapult me back into the patterns of my past. My character defects operate at 110% during a weekend with my family of origin. I become lazy, overly sensitive (read: crybaby), judgmental, and argumentative. I default to self-protection mode. I forget my own truth, I forget to stand up for myself. I forget to be accepting and gentle of my family members' defects. Three plus years into sobriety, I still forget the tenets of the 11th Step prayer when it comes to my family. Not always, not entirely...but I do find it difficult to skip out of the groove of those old recordings. And I see it manifest with the way we treat our children. But, each time I do have the opportunity and the luxury to spend time with my family, there is something I manage to do "right" (maybe "better" is a better word!). Perhaps I hold my tongue one time out of five when I want to lash out, either overtly or with underhanded sarcasm. Maybe I remember to tell my sister what a great cook she is or how nice she looks. Maybe I give my dad my undivided attention for one of his four million stories. In the end, it's about me, right? It's about what I do to change myself and to be a better sister, daughter, wife, mom. That's all I can change.